We have received the first Cunto nomination for an EDM exponent. If you’re as old as the cunt that runs this website, you may need to know that EDM stands for ‘Electronic Dance Music’.
Title: EDM Cunt.
Nominated by: Justin Alex from Somerset
In Cunto Deck?: Not Yet
“In a musical genre littered with arm-waving, talentless charla-cunts, this excuse for a fucking musician plumbs new depths of unoriginality and musical simplicity.
The presets on my Commodore 64 can generate more musical interest than this cunt can with rooms full of the latest gear. His musical banality makes click-bait algorithms seem like they have Mozart levels of creative intent.
Not only does he float like a beacon of shit in a sea of turds, he does it again and again and again; rising to the top of a fetid pit of professional talent-vacuums with mind-bending inevitability.
For example: his last full length record simply forgot there are 12 notes in a musical scale and used the same one on every cut. For a migraine-inducing six and a half minutes each time.
Add to that the fact that anything he’s ever done that sounded half decent was blatantly ripped off someone actually talented from 20 years ago.
The only time you’d ever be glad to see this EDM-Cunt’s arms waving above the decks at a gig is if Leatherface cut the fuckers off.”
Our Own Research
This nomination was interesting, dance music DJs aren’t in our usual field-of-vision but we liked the passion which Justin poured into his nomination. We’d heard of Deadmau5 but didn’t know anything about him. Here’s what turned up in the official Cunto.org brief and non-depth research:
- He’s Canadian. Bit of a cunt move, that. In some ways, its worse than being an American. For people who have never heard of it, Canada is basically a shitty version of America that hasn’t got the balls to go full American.
- Loads of people think he’s an “asshole” and a “wanker”. These comments seem to usually refer to things he Twitter rows that Deadmau5 likes to get into.
- He criticizes other EDM performers for a lack of creativity but admits that all he really does on stage is “press play“.
- He uses a mask for performances – almost always a cunt move.
- Without the makes, he looks like a bit of a cunt: bit of a ratboy look with a big daft green space invader tattoo on his neck that makes him look like a cunt.
- At least he’s Canadian, rather than full-blown American.
- It’s just dance music and it’s just Twitter. It’s not like anyone’s getting sex-pested or downloading their album on to your phone while you’re not looking.
- He spends most of his time calling other people dicks and twats and pricks and cunts and to be honest that’s what we’re doing here at Cunto.org, so it’s kinda hard to hate.
Rank This Cunto Now
Leave your own arguments in the comments below and be sure to rate this Cunto on the cuntometer using the stars.
You can also see how he’s fits into the overall hierarchy of Cunto on the rank page.