Star Cunt. Captain Cunto. The original. Everyone’s least controversial choice. A bona fide veteran of the scene. When we first laid down the template for Cunto Cards, Bono was first on the list.
He’s been wanking off over himself for at least four decades of ill-deserved stardom, riches and plaudits.
Whether he’s posing as the self-appointed saviour of Africa or offering his shades to the Pope, Bono is never very far away from an obvious moment of Cuntery.
When we built the original list of candidates for the Cunto Cards, we conducted extensive research in the pubs of Scotland. We wanted to know who the PEOPLE considered to be Cuntos.
So many times we asked the question “Who’s the cunt” and so many times Bono was the first name on peoples’ lips, often before we had finished asking the question. Such was the universal agreement on Bono’s cunt status, that we had to rephrase the question to include the caveat: “Apart from Bono…”
If you accept that you can’t fool all of the people all of the time, this ubiquity of censure from the man and woman in the street means that there is no argument. Bono is a Cunto and he cannot deny it.