Piers Morgan Cunto

Piers Morgan

Rating: 4.2/5. From 5 votes.
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For the first time, we’ve received two Cunto nominations for the same cunt. The cunto in question is Piers Morgan and the it’s thanks to the efforts of Jake from Ireland and Matt from Hatfield that you are now able to vote for him in the grand cunt scheme of things…

Name: Piers Morgan

Title: Daily Cunt.

Nominated by: Jake from Ireland and Matt from Hatfield

In Cunto Deck?: Not Yet

Matt says:

  • He’s on the tv as soon as you wake up being a cunt to everyone,
  • Argumentative for the sake of it.
  • Thinks he’s gods gift to the world when he’s just a cunt.
  • Doesn’t let anyone get a word in.
  • Winds up all of his co-presenters up
  • Bigot, sexist, classist, racist trying to disguise himself as a man of the people.
  • Means you start your day angry cos he’s such a cunt.
  • Talks all his interviewees down, doesn’t give a shit about the genuine issues they are on the show to talk about, talks over everyone in a condescending way like his opinion is the only one that matters.
  • He’s got a face you want to put a hammer through.
  • He’s a smug cunt.
  • He’s a cunt.

Jake is more succinct, although no less heartfelt:

 

Piers Morgan Cunto
Undeniably Cunty

Piers Morgan fairly stirs up the passion, and is the first Cunto to receive two nominations from different sources. I guess we’d better get him on.

But is there any mitigation? IS there any way Morgan can escape the title of Cunto? If you know anything good about him, go ahead and put his side of the Cunto case in the comments after this article. We want the truth.

Cunto’s own investigation, as usual, is cursory and largely rests on one WIkipedia article (as suggested by Jake, above). Here’s what we found

The prosecution:

  • Breached embargo
  • Was enough of a cunt to Jeremy Clarkson to get punched in the face.
  • Does that man of the people thing but, inevitably, went to a posh school and worked at Lloyd’s of London in his early days.
  • WAs described as having “gone too far” by Rupert Murdoch. That’s a proper cunt calling a cunt a cunt.
  • A day before the England v Germany semi-final at Euro 96, Morgan published the headline “Achtung Surrender! For You Fritz Ze Euro Championship Is Over” in the Daily Mirror and had to apologize for it. Too add insult to cuntishness, England went on to lose to Germany in the match.
  • Morgan called George W Bush an idiot for falling off a segway and then proceeded to fall off a segway himelf (breaking three ribs). Ha ha, cunt.
  • Does ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ which is an obvious cunt-fest.
  • After the paedo stuff became known, Morgan denied ever meeting Jimmy Savile although he’d earlier written about how he HAD met Savile.
  • Mates with Trump, widely held to be the King of Cunts.

The Defence Case:

  • Just to be clear: Piers Morgan always denied phone-hacking
  • Banned Hugh Grant and Madonna from his show and they are, to be fair, cunts.

And that’s it.

Leave your own arguments in the comments below and be sure to rate Piers Morgan on the cuntometer using the stars.

You can also see how he’s fits into the overall hierarchy of Cunto on the rank page.

Rating: 4.2/5. From 5 votes.
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